Whether there are Six phases or Forty-Six, the extremes are what I like to call Attrition to Addiction.
First, they tell you, you’ll dismiss Twitter as far too overwhelming. You’ll abandon, possibly for months and return only reluctantly because people you respect keep telling you it’s not what you think.
And then you’re hooked.
The fun, for research nerds like myself, is discovering what people respond to and how to effectively be heard over the din of millions. It’s watching a personality emerge in 140 characters until you just can’t wait to meet this brilliant, hilarious, ravenous, succinct, and simpatico-in-every-way gadabout behind the quip.
I do not recall my first real tweet but I believe it was in August 2008. (A free Wow Bao treat for the first person to sift through all 20,000+ of mine to post the first in the comments. Must redeem in Chicago.)
It began slowly, as it always does. Testing the waters. Coming to terms with the utter narcissism of it all. Getting into the proverbial groove.
I have blogged about the Phonatics timeline, which marks the beginning of my “Addiction” phase. As I approach the end of 2010, I realize that my entire social and professional life this year has been informed and influenced by Twitter.
Attrition to Addiction.
But what comes next? Because that’s where I am.
I propose that the next in the Twitter timeline of phases is Fatigue.
Fatigue is characterized by, but not limited to, the following:
- You dread planning tweetups because the people you love say, “Ugh, I won’t come if so-and-so is going.”
- You dread attending tweetups because so-and-so will be there
- You were giddy at the rollout of Mute functionality.
- You make a new acquaintance with someone who informs you of your bitter rivalry/disagreement/argument with someone you’ve never met or even heard of
- Fatigue differs from Attrition in that you don’t want to walk away from the platform altogether because you’ve seen how powerful it can be. You haven’t lost interest. You’ve lost tolerance
I’ve met more incredible people and made more lasting friendships in 2010 than in all my prior years on the Earth combined. I’ve grown professionally and cultivated clients and referrals all from Twitter. I wish to continue to do so.
But the honeymoon is over.
Much like that unceremonious but crucial point in a romantic relationship when the shit gets real, Twitter Fatigue sets in when the gloss fades. And in a romantic relationship, I generally love this part. I’d choose First Year over First Date any day because that’s when it gets good. And deep. And dirty. That kind of intimacy will decide whether you want more or no more.
So what have I learned after a year of Twitter?
I’ve learned that you people are fucking mean.
Perhaps it’s the assumption of intimacy that is bothering me. The ease with which people will take offense, lash out, or diminish another’s reputation or point of view. In real life, it’s simple to avoid toxic people. We just avoid them. Remember the ranking system? On Twitter, you simply can’t without being mean.
I’m not perfect. I’m quite often considered rude. But I won’t be mean.
Is there a difference, you ask? I think there is. Rudeness is often unintentional because it is defined by an individual. Meanness is always intentional.
A gal once told me I was rude because when asked my opinion about a restaurant she loved, I replied, “I went twice and didn’t enjoy it. I should try it again.”
She then told me that I must have no taste.
Which was rude and which was mean? And wouldn’t it have made more sense if she were my sister or my best friend as opposed to someone I was just meeting at a tweetup?
So my cowardly solution has been to close ranks, develop a thicker skin, and manage my expectations of Twitter a bit.
On the flip side of this argument is my obsession with an Abe Lincoln quote that AnnMarie shared over dinner: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”
Perhaps I have it all wrong.
View Comments (15)
Hmmmm, how ironic. I had to unfollow you Felicia because I found your twitter-style to be rather rude and accusatory. I saw you call people racists, and I saw you accuse people of 'harassing' you for sending a DM. Why would you tweet that someone sent you a DM? For attention, obviously. And you think you're not mean?? The constant dogging of people became tiresome, so voila, there's the unfollow button. The fact that you refer to people as "fucking mean" in this post proves to me that your conversations are all one-sided. Thankfully Twitter gives us the ability to tweak our stream on an ongoing basis that allows it to reflect our personal interests. Good luck to you & your fatigue.
Thank you for your comment Meagan. I'm sure I have been rude and accusatory on Twitter before. Everyone has posted tweets that they regret. If I've ever called anyone a racist, it was always, always a joke between friends related to conversations to which you are not privy. I have never seriously accused anyone of being a racist on Twitter because I always assume that I don't have enough information to make such a harsh and potentially damaging statement.
I don't recall the accusation of DM harrassment, but if you say so it must be accurate. Why would I tweet that someone sent me a DM? Because I can tweet whatever I want on my account. If you provide the specific link, I'd be happy to elaborate further.
As for one-sided conversations, I hope this is not the case. You are welcome to your opinion and as you point out, can unfollow people whose sense of humor you don't share. I would ask that you, too, entertain the notion that you don't have enough information to believe your assumptions are accurate. Perhaps critical thinking is too much to expect on Twitter.
Have a great day.
Meagan,
I think you are missing the point of the post which is that it's Twitter. It's only 140 characters. Twitter leaves so much room for misinterpretation. So much potential for not knowing the other side of the conversation...for not knowing the relationship between two Tweeters. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I put my foot in my mouth on Twitter because I didn't know the entire story. I'd be rich!
You are entitled to your opinion, of course, and that's what makes the internet great. I'm of the opinion and can honestly say regardless of how you describe Felicia, "mean" is simply not accurate. I'm proud to say Felicia is my friend.
My critical thinking is better spent on issues other than what you tweet. Calling someone a racist or accusing someone of harassment are big words to sling at someone this day and age -- and no, it wasn't always taken as a private joke, as has been conveyed to me. My suggestion is that before you call everyone on twitter "fucking mean", you may want to ponder your own accountability. I do however, agree with you that closing ranks is a wise choice; it seems to lesson the incidents of miscommunication.
Three cheers for the unfollow button, because after all, this is only twitter. Good Day to you as well!
I think Meagan just made Felicia's point! People can be 'fucking mean' and for no other reason than some perceived wrong committed without the benefit of conversation. No recourse, just flames of indignant retribution. Real life connections, thankfully, are not restricted to 140 characters. It is all too easy to imagine the person behind the tweets as 'accusatory' or 'mean' when you don't have to look at yourself and question why you would jump to such conclusions. Further, to muster the motivation to step on someone's honest and introspective look at their own shortcomings, which I believe to be one motive behind Felicia's editorial, is simply short-sighted. How Felicia handled her response with grace and an open spirit is indicative of her as a person. If you knew her, you would agree.
Peace♥
Twitter can often be one-sided. What is a joking conversation can be misconstrued as a harsh accusation. I know I've had numerous tweets where I'm just cussing left & right. I've even gone all Rage Demon on people via Twitter when provoked. Also there's been numerous occasions when I'll see a tweet and think "WTF?!?!", thankfully we have the option to "view conversations". Being able to air our grievance & listen to other's grievance as well is all part of the ups & downs of Twitter, Facebook & such. Yes, I've thought realized afterwards "Did I really post that?", after a Rage Demon moment. But hey it was what I was feeling & thinking at the time. I know people have unfollowed me due to the context of some of my tweets, but oh well. I can unfollow them right back. Fortunately freedom of speech allows all of us to say what we want, when we want. Good or bad.
I really did not want to chime in here partially because I am Felicia's friend and it's likely I know who the person commenting and I felt like remaining neutral would be best.
The main reason I did not comment at first is because I don't like to feed these types of comments. Meagan had nothing constructive to say and nothing helpful to offer, her only goal was to attempt hurt Felicia's reputation.
There are a lot of people who get really hurt feelings online. Many times when we have the safety of our computer screen to hide behind, we say things we would not dare say to someone's save.
I am less concerned with Felicia here, she is a capable professional, I know she will be fine. I hope Meagan is able to find the peace she needs in her life.
That is supposed to say FACE not save. People's face!
I am not really sure what Meagan's motive is, but I thought I'd offer a few words of advice.
Next time you offer criticism to a blogger, think about how that comment will be received. Unless you are being anonymous, you’re associating your name and reputation with that comment. You wanted to point out that, in your opinion, Felicia is mean and rude. But, in all honesty, you proved her point. People are mean and your comment was mean. You unfollowed her and that is your prerogative.... but why would you want to hurt her reputation?
Felicia has met many people who love her and consider her a great friend. I know I do. If you would take the time to get to know her, you would realize that she is a very kind and extremely generous person.
Hilarious, best line of the week! ----> I hope Meagan is able to find the peace she needs in her life.
Thank you Leyla, you too! :)
Look, I was tired of Felicia's victim stance; everyone is out to get her, she's misunderstood, she's tired blah blah talk to Sarah Palin. Since when is it 'professional to call everyone fucking mean? Where is the grace in that? I left a comment on your post. I questioned why everyone was mean and Felicia was the victim, even though she has lobbed some serious words at people, enough to make them disengage. That's when I too, disengaged. Check yourself girl.
And then Felicia... you call this "hate mail". My involvement in this conversation ends RIGHT NOW.
Your friends may continue to pat you on the back for a blog well done. Not me.
It's not just Twitter, don't you think? It's keeping up with ALL the technology and complications of modern life. Richard Swenson, in his book, In Search of Balance, talks about what happens when "more and more, faster and faster" (definition of progress) butts against human limitation. That's what's happening with technology, in my opinion. You have to put limits on it, intentionally, as the person you quoted did.
Agreed. Technology has allowed us such convenience, we now expect it when getting to know people. I think my point with this post is that Twitter is a shortcut to meeting people, not to knowing them. For that, there are no shortcuts. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Are you people fucking serious? Do you really have that much time on your hands? Virtual schoolyard arguments? Grow the fuck up. That is all. O & go fuck yourselves ur mean!